On Uru ahim be-lev sameah and stuff like that

My first memory of school dates back to sometime in 1962, I cannot be sure precisely when it was. In fact it’s one of my earliest memories full stop. I was 4. And I was at a place called Hindustan Park School, a couple of minutes walk from my home, 70C Hindustan Park, Ballygunge, Calcutta 29. It wasn’t my first day at school, but it was early-ish. It had maybe 10 students. Some of the other students were more established there, and had worked out how to irritate newcomers like me.

Their ploy was simple. They would take turns at sitting behind me; then, when the teacher was in mid-flow, the person seated behind me would squirt water on the seat of my shorts using his plastic water bottle, and then they’d all laugh, pointing at the wet spot. I asked them nicely to stop, but to no avail. So, after a while, when it came to break time, I felt I had no choice. I ran after them, deciding that fists would do what words had failed to do.

This running took place indoors. In the classroom. The only classroom the school had. The only room the school had. And in that enclosed space I caught the miscreants one at a time and helped each one remember why he should change his ways. All bar one, who was somewhat faster than the others. He was so fast that I managed to run eye-first into the corner of the nearest desk while trying to catch him. And that was the end of school for me that day. Blood everywhere. And a scar on my left eyelid that remains an identifying mark today.

Sometime soon after that, I moved to my second school; the move was not related to the incident, but to my turning 5. Miss P Hartley’s Private School, Lansdowne Road, Calcutta 16. A converted stables, laid out as a quadrangular set of classrooms around the house in the centre. Each stable stall was a classroom. No doors, no window-frames. Just a cemented half-wall on three sides adjoining the boundary wall, with an open doorway in one of them. I was there from 1963 to 1965.

In 1966, soon after turning 8, I went to my third (and final) school. St Xavier’s Collegiate School, 30 Park St, Calcutta 16. I was there from 1966 to 1975, and then stayed on at the college till 1979.

14 years with the Jesuits. A wonderful school, a wonderful time, a time I remember with love and joy.

The other two schools were brilliant as well, it’s just that I didn’t spend as much time in them. While each school was individually fantastic, they differed in many ways.

Hindustan Park School was primarily about nursery time, drawing and learning to form letters (on small personal slates with pink and green lines on them, using white chalk). And we played. And we sang. And we ate. And we went home. At Hindustan Park the classroom was the school, I can’t remember the teacher’s name, she was the sole member of staff. And she was Indian.

Miss P Hartley’s was somewhat different, five different years of schooling, maybe a dozen students in each year. Some of the teachers were local, but the majority were white “staying-on” relics of the Raj. Relatively young relics at that, my teachers were primarily in their twenties and thirties. They all appeared to come from England. And the focus was very much on language and grammar. Ronald Ridout’s name comes to mind. I can only remember one teacher’s name, she had us call her “Miss Pamela”, and she was probably the first person I had a crush on. I can still remember how she looked.

And then came St Xavier’s. I started off in “Small School”, flanked by Hungerford, Short and Wood St. Fr Sassel was the Prefect of Discipline and Studies, effectively the headmaster of the junior school. It ran from Class 1 to Class 5, with each “year” having four sections. And each section had at least 35 students. While it was referred to as Small School, it seemed huge to me. The whole ground floor was like a car park under the building, and we would assemble there and take our meals there, dry, in the shade, away from the heat and the vultures and hawks and kestrels ….and the monsoon. The only other things on the ground floor were the music room and the sports kit room; there was also a scout hut on the other side of the grounds. The first floor had the school offices (Fr Sassel, the treasurer, the stationery department) and Class 1. Classes 2 and 3 were on the second floor, 8 rooms in all, and classes 4 and 5 were on the top floor.

The teachers at Small School were a motley crew, some white stayers-on, some Anglo-Indian and fully integrated into local society, some Goan, the remainder local. Our PE teachers were an incredibly tall couple called the Deefholts, I think they were from South Africa. The rest of the teachers were English, Belgian or Goan/Portuguese in origin, or Indian. But in a sense they were all Indian. They’d settled there, made India their home. And they were doing wonderful jobs teaching children there.

Three schools. Completely different. Different geographical locations in a very large city; different sizes, different teaching styles, different teachers.

Yet they had one thing in common. A diverse, and sometimes completely incomprehensible, list of songs taught to the children.

Here are the ones I remember:

When Johnny Comes Marching Home: Published 1863, based around the American Civil War.

Oh! Susanna: Published 1848. A minstrel song bridging four continents

The Happy Wanderer: A post-WW2 German folk song

Alouette: 1870s French-Canadian children’s song

Oh My Darling Clementine: 1884 American Western folk ballad

Molly Malone: An 1860s Irish ballad now apparently the trademark for Dublin

There’s a Hole in my Bucket: 18thC German song westernised in the 195os

It’s A Long Way To Tipperary: early 20th C English music hall

And then the impetus for this post.

Hava Nagila. A Hebrew folk song based on a Ukrainian melody.

Yes, Hava Nagila.

And there you have it. What a completely random collection of songs to be inflicted on a bunch of young Indian lads, Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Parsee, Jewish and everything in between. I’ve tried to reason why, and the best I can come up with is that many were made popular in the fifties by people like Harry Belafonte and Burl Ives.

But what a strange collection. I’ve left out the obvious children’s nursery-rhyme songs like My Grandfather’s Clock and Lavender Blue and Yankee Doodle and Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush and London Bridge is falling Down. Because you would expect children in such circumstances to learn them and sing them. Even Teddy Bear’s Picnic and How Much Is That Doggie in the Window?

But Hava Nagila? And Oh Susanna? and Happy Wanderer?

A strange collection. But the songs made me travel to different places and different times and different cultures. And you know what? I loved every minute of it. I wouldn’t have changed a thing. And I still cherish those memories.

Uru a?im be-lev samea?.

I’d learnt the words to Hava Nagila in 1967. But I’d never seen them in print till today. Hence this post.

As I write this, it is Independence Day in India. 65 years since we were an independent country. A country where such cross-cultural, time-bridging antics like these are commonplace.

The songs aren’t the same. The languages vary. Children probably learn them off mobile phones. But the songs continue to mesh together amazingly diverse people. Long may it continue.

A coda. I was in Austin, TX, recently. I took a cab. The driver was Ethiopian. We had nothing in common. Except we both knew the words to some of the best Hindi film tunes of the 1960s. Apparently everyone in Ethiopia watches Hindi movies, the older, the better. They get them every which way, share them every which way. And laugh and smile and build bonds with strangers.

Music. It’s a social thing first, an artistic thing second, and a commercial thing third. The commerce is important. Artists can and should be paid. [In this context, maybe it’s time to have a law that publishes the breakdown of each song’s price in terms of where the money goes to. More on this later].

Why we didn’t have a S*mmer 2*12, and related issues

If you live in the UK, you may have noticed that we haven’t had much of a summer this year. We’ve had the wettest June on record. The wettest April on record. And the wettest April-June on record.

Normally, when I see a summer like this, I blame the cricket team. [When the England cricket team is weak and playing at home, everyone prays for rain]. But right now the team is on top of the world rankings and has been there for a while, so I can’t point fingers at the MCC.

So I looked for another culprit. And found one, facilely. Those two dreaded words. No, not “global warming”, that’s too eighties. No, not “climate change” either, that’s too oughties. Hosepipe ban. A hosepipe ban was announced on 12 March this year. And that heralded ninety days of sheeting rain. So I felt justified in looking in that direction. It seemed right.

Mea culpa.

There was a far more important reason.

Perhaps God didn’t want to get on the wrong side of LOCOG. [I jest]. After all, an Act had been passed, and it wasn’t an Act of God. Here’s some expert opinion on the London Olympic Games and Paralympic Games Act 2006, and the amended version that was enacted:

The government, in cooperation with the London Organising Committee of the Olympic and Paralympic Games (LOCOG) has put in place extremely tough laws which restrict use of names, words and other signs that refer or allude to the Olympics or Paralympics.

To supplement existing laws providing broad protection in the names ‘Olympics’ and ‘Paralympics’, the Olympic and Paralympic symbols and similar elements, the government passed the London Olympic Games and Paralympic Games Act 2006.

This act in effect prevents any ‘unauthorised person’ (i.e. anyone except official sponsors such as Coca-Cola and McDonalds) from doing anything that ‘is likely to create in the public mind an association’ between the 2012 Olympics and that person, and/or their goods, services or activities.

The 2006 act provides an extended list of terms whose ‘misuse’ by unauthorised parties is likely to infringe LOCOG’s rights. The newly-protected expressions fall into two separate categories:

Category 1

‘Games’
‘2012’
‘Twenty twelve’
‘Two Thousand and Twelve’

Category 2

‘gold’
‘silver’
‘bronze’
‘London’
‘Medals’
‘Sponsor’
‘Summer’

If the unauthorised party has (a) used two words from category 1 (e.g. ‘Games 2012’) or (b) used one word from category 1 and category 2, a Court is likely to find it has infringed LOCOG’s rights. This means that some surprising combinations are banned – e.g. ‘Summer 2012’.

LOCOG may be granted an injunction to stop further use of the ‘offending’ language, and/or an award of damages. Criminal sanctions may also apply where there is sale of goods.

Moreover, the above rule is not exhaustive, and any branding, advertising and campaigning which manages to avoid the above expressions but which still conveys a covert ‘nod’ to the Olympics may be unlawful.

We couldn’t have a summer this year. It was banned. God wasn’t a sponsor. And claiming prior Mount Olympus rights would not have worked either.

Oh well.

In a free country in the 21st century, with apparent freedom of speech and expression, there are, nevertheless, a whole slew of two-word combinations we can’t use.

An unusual consequence of Baron Coubertin’s movement. And it made me think, what else are we not allowed to do? Here’s a sample:

No eating chips on their own unless they’re from a particular provider. This, in the land of fish and chips.

No drinking bitter unless it’s in a plain unbranded glass, unless it’s made by the sponsor. This, in the land that created bitter.

No wearing clothes that have the wrong brands? Perhaps. How about displaying bagels in the form of five interconnected rings in your bakery window? Absolutely not!

What about tweeting your experiences of the event, perhaps with photographs or even film? Mostly not.

How about taking your cash out of your bank account, from an ATM belonging to a bank that you probably part-own as a UK taxpayer? It depends on where it is.

Bored? Why not read the regulations on advertising activity and trading around the event, wherever it is. Contained in 45 pdfs, over 150mb worth. Enjoy!

Want to live life in the fast lane? Tough, unless you qualify for the Zil lanes.

Enough. You get my drift.

…………………………………..

I love watching sport live, and have encouraged my children to do so at every opportunity. Over the years I’ve taken them to watch soccer, cricket, rugby, basketball, baseball, even American football, at national and international level. Sometimes we’ve travelled abroad to pursue our interests in live sport.

I love the ideals of the Olympics, kept very active scrapbooks during the Mexico and Munich events, have been a keen TV-based observer pretty much since. This year, I thought I would be able to go, applied for what I could afford, failed to get any allocations. Oh well.

Maybe a few hundred thousand people will be lucky enough to watch the events live. I wish them well. I’m happy to be part of the billion or so that will rely on TV: after all, TV today is so much more than it was in previous years: I can choose the device I use, the location I will be at, the time when I want to watch. So it means I won’t have to miss anything I really want to watch.

  • I hope and pray that the event goes off well logistically and administratively, that despite the usual glitches “it’ll be all right on the night”.
  • I hope and pray that terrorism doesn’t get to play any part in the event. I still remember how shocked I was at what happened in Munich, and my prayers will be renewed and reinforced this year.
  • I hope and pray that the weather holds up: after all, hundreds of thousands of people have spent hard-earned money in order to be there, and they deserve to have a good time.
  • I hope and pray that the local and national economy gets a real boost as a result, and that there are tangible, sustainable community benefits across the country as a result.

And I also hope and pray that the people who organise these things take a long hard look at what they’ve done to what should have been a glorious celebration of human beings showing their amateur athletic prowess on the world stage. Everyone may have meant well, but the collective outcome is somewhat short of desirable.

The Friday Question: 20 July 2012

For those of you who haven’t come across this before, I’ve been posing a question to readers every Friday. The rules are simple: I have to try and compose a question that is not easily Googleable. I was hospitalised for a few weeks in June and therefore fell behind. Today’s final question means I have now caught up, and normal service should be resumed by next Friday.

Today’s question is a hard one. I want to know the odd one out and why. There is a reason to consider two of the entries to be unlike the others, but that’s not what I am looking for.

MG189. NM4664. EP6240. RP7053. RD50522. JF139813.

 

 

The Friday Question: 13 July 2012

As we approach the week of the Open, I thought I’d try a golf-related question.

Bernhard Langer. Ian Woosnam. Nick Price. Tom Lehman. Martin Kaymer. Five golfers who share something specific. No other golfers share that something. What have they done that makes them different from the rest?

 

The Friday Question: 6 July 2012

[Almost caught up, should be back on track by next week].

Usual rules. Use whatever you like to find the answer. My job is to keep the subjects adequately varied and to ensure that the answer is not readily Googleable.

What do the following have in common?

  • The Virgin Mary
  • Jane Seymour
  • Madeline Usher
  • Patti D’Arbanville

Have fun.