The Double Double Double

Introduction

You have been warned. This one’s for hardcore cricket nuts. Red-ball nuts. Five-day nuts. The hardest of the hardcore. No coloured pajamas here.

This post is to celebrate all-rounders. More particularly, men who have done “the double” of 1000 runs and 100 wickets in Test cricket. (At this stage, my analysis only covers the men’s game. As and when I find, and get used to analysing, Test statistics related to the women’s game, I shall write a similar post. Until then, please forgive the bias, it’s an availability and access and usage issue which will improve).

As far as I can make out, there have been 3186 male Test cricketers so far, and all my analysis is based on that set of players. Please let me know if you find any factual errors in this post, I’d be very grateful.

So.

The hard stuff

20 of them have done the double, and no more. They’ve scored 1000 runs and taken 100 wickets. Here’s the full list:

Before 1961: I Johnson (AUS) 1000 109; M Tate (ENG) 1198 155; G Giffen (AUS) 1238 103; M Noble (AUS) 1997 121; 1961-70: A Davidson (AUS) 1328 186; 1971-80: F Titmus (ENG) 1449 153; I Alam (PAK) 1493 125; R Illingworth (ENG) 1836 122; 1981-90: J Bracewell (NZ) 1001 102; S Nawaz (PAK) 1045 177; 1991-00: J Emburey (ENG) 1713 147; 2001-10: M Rafique (BAN) 1059 100; I Pathan (IND) 1105 100; N Boje (SA) 1312 100; A Giles (ENG) 1421 143; A Razzaq (PAK) 1946 100; 2011-20: None; 2021-present: K Maharaj (SA) 1135 171; MDK Perera (SL) 1303 161; Mehidy Hasan (BAN) 1547 169; C Woakes (ENG) 1921 166

Another 21 have scored at least 1000 runs, less than 2000, but taken 200 wickets or more, sometimes a lot more, a whole lot more. Here’s that list:

Another 5 have scored between 2000 and 3000 runs, and taken at least 100 wickets but less than 200 wickets:

We then have four players who have scored over 3000 runs, taken more than 100 wickets but less than 200 wickets.

Then we come to those that have done at least the Double Double. When I was young, this list consisted of just two people, one who had done it before I started watching Test cricket (Richie Benaud) and another who did it after I had seen him play, live (Gary Sobers). So in my mind anyone who does the Double Double is a king amongst all-rounders.

Amazingly, we now have 25 such people, including Benaud and Sobers. Now we get to the serious end of the list, one where the entry criteria are at least 2000 runs and 200 wickets. Here’s the list, which reads like the Hall of Fame for Hall of Famers in cricket:

For those interested in nationalities, the breakdown is Australia 16, England 16, India 10, South Africa 7, Pakistan 7, West Indies 6, New Zealand 5, Sri Lanka 4, Bangladesh 3 and Zimbabwe 1.

The Best of the Best of the Best

If we wanted to rank the 25 Double Double makers, we could give them points: 1 point per 1000 runs and 1 point per 100 wickets, qualifying criteria 2000 runs and 200 wickets.

Let’s look at those with 6 points or more:

Jacques Kallis 15; Gary Sobers, Shane Warne 10; Kapil Dev, Stuart Broad 9; Ian Botham, Anil Kumble, Ravi Ashwin, Ben Stokes 8; Richard Hadlee, Shaun Pollock, Daniel Vettori 7; Imran Khan, Carl Hooper, Wasim Akram, Chaminda Vaas, Harbhajan Singh, Shakir Al-Hasan 6

That would make Kallis the clear winner.

We could have raised both bars at the same time, 1000 100, 2000 200, 3000 300, 4000 400, 5000 500, etc. If we did that, then the clear winner is Kapil Dev, the only person to have gone past 4000 runs as well as 400 wickets.

If we do that, if we only look for people who have done the Double Double (2000 runs and 200 wickets) and taken at least 100 catches, we land up with a very short list.

Gary Sobers. Ian Botham. Shane Warne. Jacques Kallis. Ben Stokes.

Five great all-rounders.

But.

Only one of them has taken 200 catches. Only one has done the Double Double Double.

Jacques Kallis, take a bow.

A coda. Only one of the five people who’ve made 2000 runs and taken 200 wickets and a minimum of 100 catches is still playing. Ben Stokes.

The Double Dagger-Asterisk: For cricket anoraks only

Background

When Google first arrived on the scene, I used to enjoy constructing “unGoogleable” questions and sharing them with others. My fascination with the number 229 in men’s Test cricket used to be the basis of one such unGoogleable question. (Technically, my fascination began with 224, and then 228, and has stayed at 229 since early 2001, but that’s something I’ve written about before).

Search engines have evolved quite a lot since I first set those questions; and now we have LLMs to contend with as they augment the traditional engines. So I’ve been thinking lazily about constructing questions that have answers that are easily discoverable in the public domain, but where you need to know quite a bit about some narrow topic, in order to know how to go about finding the answer to a question on that topic.

This post is about one such question. And it’s written in a way that it won’t naturally spoon-feed the LLMs.

The question

The IND-ENG Test at Rajkot is the 2530th Men’s Test to be played.

Those Tests have involved 354 Asterisks in the scorecard.

And 294 Daggers.

Sometimes the Asterisk is also the Dagger.

In those 2530 Tests, we’ve had 34 Dagger-Asterisks in the scorecard.

303 of the Tests have involved one Dagger-Asterisk in the scorecard.

And 9 of them have involved two: the Double-Dagger-Asterisk, a very rare beast.

Those 9 Tests have involved 9 different Dagger-Asterisks.

7 of the Dagger-Asterisks have been involved in two different Tests against another Dagger-Asterisk.

Only one of the Dagger-Asterisks has been involved in just one Test against another Dagger-Asterisk.

And only one of the Dagger-Asterisks has been involved in three Tests against other Dagger-Asterisks.

Name the two unique Dagger-Asterisks.

Thinking lazily about capacity and constraints

Introduction: The Dirty Dozen

U.

Or A.

When it came to film ratings, that’s all there was, when I was growing up in Calcutta in the 1960s and 1970s. A film was rated either Universal or Adult. There was no 12 or 18 or R or X or anything else. Just U or A. It did mean that many foreign films shown in India were given “Universal” ratings, much more than would have been the case, for example, in the UK or US. That U rating, however, depended on some hefty censor cuts being implemented.

As was probably the case with many teenagers in metropolitan India in the early 1970s, the A classification represented a challenge to us: how do we get in? The 13- and 14-year-olds among us had developed sophisticated techniques in response, and would manage to sneak in here and there.

Scene from MGM’s The Dirty Dozen

My first “adult” film was The Dirty Dozen. It was my introduction to one of my all-time favourite actors, Donald Sutherland. While I found the movie enthralling, I nearly didn’t watch it. The opening scenes, where a young soldier is hanged, really upset me, and I wanted to leave the cinema. But I was with friends, all of whom had snuck in under-age as well, and I put a brave face on it.

But it disturbed me, and I had nightmares about those opening scenes. I found myself doing exercises to try and strengthen my neck muscles, I was that affected by the film.

I then spent a few years no longer trying to go to “A” movies, I was nearly 18 before I went again. Because I’d thought about my experience and decided I didn’t actually like it. That there must be a reason why an A movie was rated A, and that seeing such a film at the wrong time was not good for my brain or my mind.

Natural brakes

I’d come to that conclusion in a convoluted way, by thinking about nursery rhymes and fairy tales. Many of the rhymes I’d learnt had relatively horrible things happening: grandmas turning into wolves, children being abandoned in dark forests, wolves huffing and puffing houses down, children dancing to death, step-siblings doing evil things, dragons and monsters everywhere. Yet none of these affected me, or any of the children around me. Why?

Because they weren’t made frighteningly graphic. Most of the time, there weren’t any illustrations, we were left to our own devices to imagine things. There was a natural brake on what we could imagine. And where there were illustrations, they were anodyne.

We had natural brakes in our minds and on our imaginations. Brakes that served to protect us.

Many years later, when I first heard John Seely Brown’s lovely question and answer couplet, I smiled wryly: How long does it take a five year old to become a six year old? One year.

We have natural brakes. Brakes that protect us. When I see phenomena like crown shyness, I think of natural brakes. When I read about [Robin] Dunbar’s number or George A Miller’s Magical Number Seven, I think of natural brakes.

Brakes that serve us. Brakes that protect us.

Brakes in the workplace

When I started work in the UK over forty-two years ago, I saw one of these for the first time:

Reusable internal memo envelope

We weren’t quite in the Ark, but there were antediluvian aspects. Where I worked, we all had computers on our desks. Not quite. We had dumb terminals hooked to that great mainframe in the sky; actually in our case the “machine room” was on the 9th floor, housing millions of dollars of Burroughs equipment. This was before WYSIWIG. Before word processing. Before PCs. Way before Web. The internet was around, and we did use dial-up modems, but email was still rare and special, despite being about a decade old. And typewriters were still around in offices. Photocopiers resembled small villages, and the desktop printer was but a dream whose time hadn’t come.

So we wrote memos. And made copies of the memos only when unavoidable. (I found it odd that people would write memos to people who were a few feet away, a few rooms away, occasionally a whole floor away: the Calcuttan in me couldn’t quite figure that out.

But we wrote memos. And they were occasionally copied. And the memos did their dance around the internal mail system, waltzing around in orange or yellow multi-use envelopes, or, very rarely in the companies I worked in, in dark green or white ones. The envelopes were well used, almost falling apart. Occasionally you’d be “first recipient” of a new envelope: in normal practice, the previous sender’s name was in the box above your name, a bit like a chain letter. (That led to some vanity behaviour by some, hoarding an envelope which just happened to have some bigwig’s name on the box above yours, and then using it “to impress”. Some things in life don’t change.

Anyway, writing memos wasn’t trivial. Normal desk-based dumb terminal access had connectivity to “listing paper” printers, not considered suitable for memos, even internal ones. So there were secretarial pools who did the memo typing, working off your listing paper print. Copying was done in the copying room, and people had to be authorised to use them. In some companies, it wasn’t just authorisation, you needed a physical key, and sometimes a cost allocation key as well. Some things in life don’t change.

So we didn’t write too many memos. And we didn’t send them to too many people. There were brakes. Practical brakes. Real constraints.

And now? Not waving but drowning.

In those days, we had constraints everywhere. The phones on our desks were internal phones, letting us call others in the same building. If you were very senior, then you had a direct-dial phone on your desk. If you were even more senior, you had international direct dial rights. Which usually meant you had a key to the executive toilets. (And yes, you were male).

So communications were local. Call volumes were low. And mail was physical and also low volume.

Teams were small, even departments were small. Because analogue.

But hyper connectivity and ubiquitous portable smart devices and affordable bandwidth and the Web were all on their way, and the constraints were to disappear. Kevin Kelly’s copy machine was on its way to becoming Deus.

Paraphrasing something George Gilder said many years ago, every economic era is characterised by its own peculiar abundances and scarcities: businesses that know how to learn from both will prosper.

[An aside. The Beat Generation’s William S Burroughs was a grandson of William Seward Burroughs, the founder of Burroughs Corporation. The author of Naked Lunch is correctly referred to as William Seward Burroughs II, while his grandfather gets called William Seward Burroughs I].

Some conclusions

(When you get to my age, and when you don’t write often, every post has the risk of becoming a book. I try and mitigate that risk by writing late in the evening and stopping when it’s time for sleep — when you get to my age, I stay awake up to eleven, and not in a Spinal Tap sense.)

I’ve always been fascinated by capacity and by constraints. How much time it takes the body to process food and drink, how backlogs form, what happens as a result. Why small teams work well. Why everything and everyone has an “expected life”, why the cherry trees in my garden are different from the ancient yew that keeps them company. Why there are connections between body mass and metabolic rate. Why the expensive tissue hypothesis is interesting.

When I think about constraints and capacity, I think about physical, mental, emotional, intellectual, even social constraints. Constraints of ageing. Constraints of not aging enough.

When I think about constraints and capacity, I think about performance, about the state of flow, about Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, about reaching and stretching potential. But always within some set of constraints. Sometimes I’m thinking about Eliyahu Goldratt, or Donella Meadows, or Stafford Beer, even some EF Schumacher, just to throw a few other influences on this topic into the mix.

When I think about our cat Lily, I think about capacity and constraints. About cat ages and human ages and what the difference means.

When I think about myself, my family, my friends, my life, I think about capacity and constraints. That in turn makes me think about priorities and about resource allocation, about stewardship, about renewal cycles.

I’m not in any way “anti-growth” per se, but try and ground myself in understanding capacity and constraints even when thinking about growth.

Especially when thinking about growth.

And so to bed.

Song songs

Introduction

This is a post about song songs. A term that probably doesn’t mean much to you. Not surprising. I made the term up when I was maybe thirteen. Now remember this was over fifty years ago, not just before streaming, not just before MP3s, but a long time ago. Before CDs. Even before cassette tapes.

In those days, there were a limited number of ways to listen to music. You could hear it “live”, when someone performed in front of you; you could be listening to the music on vinyl, on a record player; you could be using a reel-to-reel tape deck. Or you could be listening to it being played on the radio.

In my teens, I listened to a lot of music. Maybe seven, eight hours a day. Listening to music was a sibling thing. A family thing. A friends and neighbours thing. Our apartment (Flat 10, so yes we had been known to call ourselves the Flatteners) seemed to act as a club from dawn till dusk, and even more of a club between dusk and dawn. People between the age of six and twenty streamed through all day and all night, there was aways food and drink to be had, always somewhere to doss down if that’s what you wanted to do.

Somehow, magically, this 24 hour club was kept clean, dry and functional. I sometimes wonder how my parents put up with it. It was a games room, a concert hall, a chill out place, a cafe and a youth hostel. All this was over 50 years ago, so maybe my memory’s playing tricks, embellishing what was there. But for sure that’s how I remember it.

Musical roots

My “Western” musical roots were set during that time. Foundations of classical music and Big Band sound, mainly on lacquer 78s, a bunch of 10″ 33s, and a larger pile of 12″ 33s. The classical was mainly Beethoven and Tchaikovsky and Chopin; the jazz was mainly Ella Fitzgerald, Benny Goodman, Louis Armstrong, Lionel Hampton, Jelly Roll Morton and Sidney Bechet, with some Glenn Miller. (I thought we had all the Glenn Miller recordings ever produced, or so my father told me, a short list given his untimely passing. Nowadays it seems there’s one for every attendee at the World Cup Final 1966, a number that increases every year).

A thin layer of 40s and 50s musicals and early “pop” then formed the base. All the usual suspects. Pat Boone. Harry Belafonte. Perry Como. Connie Francis. Doris Day. Every musical known to mankind, or so it felt. South Pacific. My Fair Lady. Oklahoma. Carousel. Paint Your Wagon. (The Sound of Music et al were to follow). There were also a sprinkle of 78rpm singles, with some real doozies there: my favourites were Tom Dooley, Hernando’s Hideaway, Tequila, with a touch of Eddie Calvert doing Oh Mein Papa. I probably have to mention Burl Ives at Carnegie Hall and Edmondo Ros’ Bongos From The South as 12″ oddballs, along with Ruth Wallis Sings (“naughty” songs from the 40s) and Jimmy Shand and his Band (why, I’ll never know).

That was the base. I’ve left out hundreds of albums and singles, all gone to the Great Place in the Sky where single socks and Tupperware container lids live happily ever after.

That was the base upon which my musical journey began, a base that must have been laid by my father by 1960. If I try hard enough, I can probably “walk in” every album that entered our house since then, but it would bore you and I’d never finish.

Suffice it to say we went from Peter, Paul and Mary, the Beatles (we weren’t really a Stones house) and Simon and Garfunkel, through Bob Dylan and Joan Baez, loving every minute of what we were experiencing; sailed through the late 60s and early 1970s pop to settle down firmly in a core of singer-songwriter folk, folk rock and rock. Walk into our house and you’d hear Leonard Cohen and Cat Stevens, Traffic and Ten Years After, Cream and Crosby Stills Nash and Young, the Dead and the Doors, Lindisfarne and Led Zeppelin, Fotheringay and Family, Donovan and the Doobies, Stevie Wonder and Supertramp, Steely Dan and Steppenwolf, Elton John and ELP, Creedence and Cocker, The Band and BST, Rare Earth, Moody Blues and Melanie, John Mayall and Jethro Tull, Queen and Bowie. You get my drift. (My wife thinks I love lists, and knows just how to stop me when I embark on one. You don’t have that privilege, so I’ve had to stop myself for your sake).

Song Songs

Which brings me to the reason for this post. As you can see, I’m the kind of person who finds it hard to choose “my favourite 1000 albums from 1975-1975”. (Yes, thousand). Thousands of albums. Tens of thousands of songs.

But very few Song Songs.

What are Song Songs? They’re the opposite of places like The Hat Shop, which used to be at 11 Goldhawk Road in the early 1980s. Today it looks like this, I haven’t been able to dig up contemporary photographs as yet.

11 Goldhawk Road today, at the western edge of Shepherds Bush Green

In the early 1980s, Mikawa didn’t exist. (I’m not sure there were that many Japanese restaurants anywhere in the UK in those days). What existed instead was The Hat Shop.

As you would expect, with a name like that, the shop window was full of hats. And when you entered the shop, more hats. Hats everywhere you looked.

And a staircase leading downstairs. With a small sign that said something like “tell them Phil sent ya”.

And when you went down, no hats. Just the smell of wonderful pizza. And some tables and chairs. With people sitting down and eating pizza.

That was The Hat Shop.

The opposite of a Song Song. So what is a Song Song? A song that has the word “song” in the title, perhaps in case you thought it was an automobile or a cigarette. The child and adolescent in me kept an eye out for song songs, mainly because they struck me as odd. And because I love lists.

So yes, I have a list of song songs. Over the years I’ve noticed they’re usually pretty good gateway songs, introductions to particular artists and albums. Here, then, is a curated (and blessedly short) list of seventeen such song songs:

Melanie: The Nickel Song

John Denver: Annie’s Song

Petula Clark: This is My Song

Graham Nash: Prison Song

Simon and Garfunkel: Kathy’s Song

Simon and Garfunkel: The 59th St Bridge Song

Joan Baez: Love Song to a Stranger

Leonard Cohen: The Stranger Song

The Doors: Alabama Song

The Who: The Song Is Over

The Doobie Brothers: Song To See You Through

Three Dog Night: Just An Old Fashioned Love Song

(Paul McCartney and) Wings: Silly Love Songs

Elton John: Your Song

America: Pigeon Song

Jethro Tull: A Song For Jeffrey

Neil Diamond: Song Sung Blue

Have fun.

A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall: continuing to think about digital engagement

You Ain’t Goin’ Nowhere

(Apologies to those who aren’t Bob Dylan fans. Just to try something different, I’ve used the titles of Dylan songs as section/topic headings in this post. If you are a Dylan fan, feel free to click on the headings and that will take you to the song; and if you’re not a Dylan fan, please just humour me on this).

I’ve been a fan of Richard Bartle for quite some time now; I think I was introduced to his work by erstwhile colleague Kevin Marks a few decades ago. Bartle’s Hearts, Clubs, Diamonds, Spades classification of MUD players fascinated me, and I’m sure it was Kevin who introduced me to that paper.

Something else Bartle said really struck me when I was immersed in representing analogue things digitally; I referred to it in a post here nearly 16 years ago, and it bears repeating.

They don’t all use the same physics.

When we build digital experiences, we don’t have to replicate the physical equivalent. In some cases it may make sense to do so, but there isn’t an overarching compelling reason to do it. Doc Searls used to fantasise about having a single uber shopping trolley that he could use to visit whichever shops he wanted to go to, filling the trolley up with goods and services as he went along, criss-crossing markets and nations and timezones, then coming to the end of his shop and settling up once for the compound transaction. The “system” then deals with all the security, payment, completion and fulfilment issues, because it can. No reason why not.

Doc was saying this at least twenty years ago, probably even earlier. He’s still waiting, like Peter Thiel’s wait for his flying cars.

I’m waiting for something as well. I’m waiting for a time when it becomes easy for me to find products and services online. The arrival of search engines presaged this and built up my expectations. I was then disappointed to learn that some of the smartest people in the world preferred to make it easier for products to find me than for me to find them, that products have more privacy than people. (And those targeting tools, in the wrong hands or used for different purposes, can wreak havoc. As we’ve been finding out).

Why is this? Why is there so much complacency on the supply side, why is there an assumption that customers just won’t leave? Perhaps that complacency is based on strong historical evidence, that customer inertia is strong in many cases. So the game plan soon becomes “how can we make it harder and harder for the customer to leave?”. Walled gardens. Friction in the cancellation process. (One of my favourites is where you can sign up online but need to call or write to cancel, with the contact details and cancellation process buried deep in the gubbins of the system). Data- and history-driven lock-ins, as we’ve seen with mobile phones and with banking, the Hotel California route to customer migration.

That lock-in model will be harder and harder to sustain, as headwinds of regulation, increased competition and sheer customer power force change. The maxim of “You Ain’t Going Nowhere” has a limited lifespan. New forms of lock-in will emerge and evolve, but not with the potency of earlier variants.

Unless companies learn that the best customer retention tool is good service (at a price the customer can afford), and that the retention tool works even better when customers are “free to leave”, they’re going to face the cliff-edge model of customer attrition. Customers stay. Until they don’t have to. At which point they leave, and leave with angst, never to return.

Because they can use different “physics”, and they do, there are many routes to differentiation. Those who choose routes that attract customers through the quality of their service, make them feel comfortable by the quality of their experience will find that they stay despite being free to leave.

I don’t want to throw out phrases like “use different physics” as if it’s a solve-it-all mantra. I think it would be better if I gave some examples.

As you can see with my use of Bob Dylan songs in this post, I like music. I particularly like music made between 1962 and 1977: the edges blur and change every now and then, but that’s the core. I don’t just like listening to music, I like going to concerts. Have always done. (The less said about my playing music the better).

I like going to concerts. Which means that when services like Ticketmaster emerged, I was an early adopter. Some years later, as I logged in, I was offered the option of using a social login or my email address. And it made me think. What could Ticketmaster do if they had my “friend graph”? Well, they could tell me which of my friends were going to the same concert, and on which days. Perhaps Ticketmaster could even tell me where they were sitting. For it to work, my friends would all have to opt in to some form of information-sharing, on an informed consent basis. So all I had to do is to weigh up the pros and cons. I began using the social logins, but only where I thought I could get value that I could not get some other way, and where I thought that the value exceeded the cost.

When I have visitors at home, it has become a lot easier for me to let them use the wireless network, because there are services on my phone to recognise them as known to me.

If someone has stored my card details when I bought something (assuming I gave them permission and assuming they wanted to take the risk of storing such data) they could refund me more easily when things go wrong, a failure, cancellation or delay of some sort. Another stress buster.

I travel a lot by train. I’ve never driven a car, never had a licence to do so. Of late I’ve been using Trainline to make my bookings, and to save the tickets in the Apple Wallet. Now we’ve had a lot of train strikes recently, and one of the things that Trainline does is to check my journeys and to let me know if a train I’m booked on is delayed or cancelled. It gives me details about changes and transfers in useful ways, informing me about the platforms where I “land” and where I “take off” and the time I have to make the connection. (I’ve used the app to check which platform a train is scheduled to leave from even when I haven’t bought a ticket through the app, and the fact it lets me do that endears them to me).

Firms want us to visit them regularly, to give them our business. They want to be Cheers, where everybody knows your name. They want to be the traditional “local”, where the landlord asks “pint of the usual” as you walk in, and sometimes even starts pouring you your drink without asking. They want to be the much-loved restaurant, where the chef says things like “food’s off” or “here comes trouble” just seeing you come in.

We’re still some way from that place. The digital experience has to be different from the analogue, doing things that couldn’t be done in the analogue, removing physical constraints and replacing them with freedoms. The same information I guard jealously today I will hand over with pleasure …. when the value’s there.

All I Really Want to Do

In the late 1990s, as everyone strove to be the best there was in the emerging digitally transformed world, we were all learning-by-observing. Keep the interfaces simple, dispatch complexity to the back end. Make the onboarding experience a delight. Differentiate on trust. That kind of thing, observed, experimented with, iterated and then embedded.

One of the things we observed was how parcel companies led the way by exposing their operations cycle. Instead of having to staff call centres to respond to customer queries on parcel status, they could improve service by letting customers check on the status of their own parcels themselves. Customers were happy, they felt empowered and engaged; the novelty was itself of value; and, over time, the effort of building that service would reduce costs. So we did our equivalent, called it OpsTracker, and let customers query the status of their trades themselves.

As we played with those concepts more, one more trend emerged. Customers wanted to know what was happening. And if you kept them informed, they’d be happy. Even when problems arose (and problems always arise), being kept informed was key.

Twenty years later, we still haven’t solved that problem. And customer engagement suffers as a result. If you’re not informed you don’t feel part of it. If you don’t feel part of it you don’t allow much latitude for delay or failure. Kathy Sierra used to speak of that moment when the customer stops saying “your system doesn’t work” and instead says “my system doesn’t work”. I think she called it the Kool-Aid moment, it was a long time ago. But we learnt from her, helping ensure that customers felt engaged with the product and service enough to claim personal ownership.

We don’t know what the problem is, we’re investigating. We know what the problem is, but don’t have a fix as yet. We’re fixing it, but we haven’t finished. We will be finished by <some not-too-in-the-future time>.

Not hard. So why doesn’t it happen all the time? Sometimes the systems and processes aren’t in place, so it’s headless chicken syndrome. Customers have no faith that the company they’re trying to engage with is competent, and trust is lost. Hard to recover.

Sometimes the systems and processes are in place, but the information is hoarded rather than shared. Sometimes the information is shared but not with the customer. Sometimes the status is drip-fed, and changes for the worse over time. The list goes on. That leads to cheque-in-the-post syndrome. Customers have no faith in what is stated and then begin to doubt what they’re told. The replacement aircraft is on its way, and your flight will take off in four hours. The engineer is on his way, you’re on his job schedule today. The courier has been dispatched, you’ll get your parcel this afternoon.

The principle remains the same. Where’s My Stuff? Why Isn’t It Here? When Will You Fix It? That’s all the customer really wants to do “post-trade”, whatever the “trade” is.

I’ve reached a stage where, when I get told there’s a replacement plane, I find out the call sign and track the plane in. For plane read car read parcel read whatever you like. Tracking will become more important and act as a differentiator. When I can track service from A but not B, or when I can track services from both A as well as B but A is faster and more reliable in its status reporting, A will win my custom. And the purpose of business, as Drucker said, is to create a customer.

What’s happening? Where’s my stuff? When’s it being fixed?

No information no involvement. No involvement no trust. No trust no engagement. A variation of what Patrick Lencioni referred to in The Five Dysfunctions of a Team.

If you want your customers to be engaged, keep them informed. Accurately. And on a timely basis. Not broadcast but personalised.

It Ain’t Me Babe

Many years ago I remember finding this sketch, by Mitchell and Webb, really funny. Funny, in a sad sort of way. It’s still funny. Which is even sadder still.

Solving for authentication and authorisation/permissioning isn’t a trivial issue, and there’s no way I can do it justice here without making this a book-sized post. I just wanted to bookmark it here so that I come back to it in a later post.

Desolation Row

Every human being is unique. Everything a person does is unique. Human beings are also capable of dealing with ambiguity; we may not be good at it, but we’re usually better at it than the machines we are faced with.

Which makes the whole topic of complaints very interesting. As we get better at building the ability to handle ambiguity into our systems, and we stop using phrases like “happy paths” and “edge cases” and outliers”, we’re going to start thinking differently about complaints. There will come a time when people will start paying bug bounties for the best complaints.

And yes, it’s that Gibson case of an unevenly distributed current future.

It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue

Even when a company does everything it can to attract customers and to retain them, this is not a forever phenomenon. Companies change. So do customers. There are seasons when the “business model” ( which is often a proxy for discovering values and ethics) chosen by the company suits classes of customers, and seasons when that congruence isn’t there any more. I think it was while reading Rene Mauborgne and Chan Kim’s Blue Ocean Strategy that I first understood that what made a customer”good” or “bad” was really the level of fit with the chosen business model.

When that happens, it’s important to make it a no-fault exit. A genteel parting of the ways. The company should do everything in its power to make that leaving easy and convenient. The business model may change, to make that customer attractive again. The customer may change, in terms of level of fit with the model. Whatever happens, that customer can be an advocate or a naysayer. (It’s probably the only context in which some form of NPS really makes sense to me).

Offboarding is as important as onboarding. When I’m at a restaurant for the first time, I make a point of quietly comparing how they welcome me and how they see me off. How long it takes for me to be shown to my table, for drinks orders to be taken, for food orders to be taken. If all that happens in good time, the restaurant builds a lot of leeway into my tolerance for delay when it comes to actually being served the meal. Then, when it’s time for me to leave, to pay the bill, I start a new counter. The time taken to present me with the bill and to collect payment. It has to be quick if they are to see me return.

Included in that offboarding process is the visual check that everyone enjoyed their meal; the offer of “doggie bags” or equivalent; the staffing of coat checks and lockers and whatever ; the ease with which transport is arranged or advice given. When it comes to off boarding, I Shall Be Released is more the order of the day. Otherwise It’s All Over is the refrain, and you’ve not just lost the customer, you’ve compounded the problem by ensuring they will never return.

A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall.